The Eye of the Storm

They say the eye of a hurricane is the calmest part of the storm. 

3 months after losing Logan I started to see a lot of rainbows. A rainbow baby is a baby born after a loss. I felt a small sense of peace whenever I’d see a rainbow, each one felt like a sign. 

On August 21st, a cheapie pregnancy test popped a faint positive. On August 22nd, a cheapie showed a darker positive and a digital showed “pregnant 1-2”. I was about 3-4 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby. 

I called Brandan who was on his way to New Hampshire for work. My voice was so shaky. I knew we wanted this, but I couldn’t hold back the happy / nervous tears when I told him our news. He was equally as happy and as nervous as I was.

I had my first Hcg blood draw on August 30. My repeat blood draw 48 hours later revealed a doubling number, a healthy start to my pregnancy. Our first ultrasound was on Sept. 20. By dates I was 8 weeks 1 day. The ultrasound showed a baby of 6 weeks 6 days with a heartbeat of 144bpm. We had our first appointment the same day. Our official due date was 5/10/17, just 3 days before Logan’s angelversary. We were also told at our appointment that I had a subchorionic hematoma, or a small bleed where the baby implanted into the uterus. So spotting could be expected.

One week later, my first spotting experience. And it was bright red. My OB got me a STAT ultrasound an hour after I called. I was 7 weeks 6 days by the last ultrasound, baby measured 8 weeks 5 days. Same heartbeat of 144bpm. My OB called to tell us baby looked great and hematoma was smaller than it was 1 week ago. Placenta attachment was the likely cause of spotting. 

My next appointment was at 10 weeks 5 days. The heartbeat in the office was 165bpm. Everything was going well. I had horrible morning sickness, my utetus was measuring on track, more closely to that of 12 weeks. My OB had mentioned that my second ultrasound measurement showed 8 weeks 5 days and she would like to keep my due date as 5/1/17 which was by my LMP date. So I was 12 weeks by dates that Monday, October 17th.

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