So a few days ago I stumbled across a story shared by a Facebook friend. I can’t find the post now, but the story was posted by a mother-in-law about her daughter-in-law. The woman was asking for prayers for her DIL as she had a blood clot that traveled to her brain and doctors didn’t think she would survive. This woman was young, in her 20’s. The woman asking for the prayers also asked for prayers for her son as they have lost and had to bury a child. The woman also mentions her son and daughter-in-law have another child at home who is beside herself and they just had a baby 3 weeks ago. The story had been updated to say this young woman went home to be with Jesus.
This story just touched my heart and I immediately felt heartache for her husband and children she left behind. But I also thought about this mother being reunited with the baby she lost. What a glorious reunion that must have been.
This story made me think about what feelings I went through those first days after losing Logan.
I remember asking my mom in the hospital, “Why couldn’t God have just taken me too or took me instead of Logan? I’d trade my last breath so he could take his first.”
I’ve come a long way in the last 10 1/2 months, from those initial feelings of wishing I could have went with Logan. I still can’t wait until I reunite with Logan and my other babies in Heaven, but I can’t imagine leaving Brandan, Makenzee, and Connor behind; especially since Makenzee and Connor are still so young. I couldn’t imagine my kids growing up without their momma. I want to watch them grow up and start their own families. I miss Logan and my other babies with every fiber of my being, but though we are millions of miles apart, they are always in my heart.
Spending life apart from my babies in Heaven seems like an eternity, but when that day comes, I’ll spend the next eternity with them, never having to be apart again. I’m trying to live life the best I can for my babies. I’m learning to navigate the winding roads and overcome the bumps along the way on this ever-changing journey.
I think I’m doing alright. One step at a time.