It’s been a year since I watched you and Dad get the news that I was in Heaven, that you wouldn’t be bringing me home. I watched you tell my big sister Makenzee and big brother Connor the same, trying to help them understand when you couldn’t quite believe or understand it yourself.
I know your heart aches for me, but know that I’m always with you. The sun that warms your face, the breeze that blows your hair, I’m there, in every moment. That gentle tug you feel in your heart, that’s me giving you a hug, letting you know I’m there.
I know you miss your oldest baby and my little brother, too. Don’t worry mom, we’re all safe together and waiting here for you.
I know you fear the future, the uncertainty, and unknowns. But please mom, live your life and don’t feel guilty for what I was denied, because I live it all through you. I know you’d rather have me there with you, I’d really love that too. But Heaven is a beautiful place and you’ll be here some day too.
I know you still ask why this happened, and one day you’ll get the answers you long for.
Mom, just know that all I knew was love and warmth from you. I grew to know your voice and was peaceful with each beat of your heart around me. I had nothing in life to fear.
Mom, you’ve come so far in just 1 year. You are braver and stronger than you know. Your job on Earth is not yet done, you’re destined for more than you could ever know.
So celebrate my life today and continue to hold me in your heart. Just know I’m always with you and one day distance will no longer keep us apart. I know you feel 35 weeks was not enough time with me, but for me it was a lifetime and I couldn’t have asked for anything more. You are the best mom you can be to me, and I’ll love you forever more.
So give my dad a hug from me, Makenzee and Connor too. And when you look up into the sky, just know I’m there and looking back at you.