Blame Game

One of the toughest obstacles to navigate after child loss is the self blame. When your baby passes in the womb, it’s hard to not blame yourself as you were the only one to carry your child.  I often wonder why my body failed Logan. What possibly could have happened in that 35th week that […]

Thankful

I know what you’re thinking, “You lost a child, how can you be thankful?” Being thankful doesn’t exactly come easy these days. But I am still thankful despite the struggles. I have a greater appreciation for things I once took for granted.  With Makenzee and Connor both, I went a week over my due date […]

182 Days

November 13, 2016. 4,368 hours. 26 weeks. 182 days.  6 months since we’ve been without Logan.  Life after loss really alters the perception of time. 6 months seems like a long time ago and like yesterday at the same time.  182 days seems like such a long time when you’re waiting for something, like the […]

A Little Life, Not a Little Loss

November 13th is just around the corner, and it marks a milestone. 6 months since we lost Logan. 1/2 a year already.  Time flies when your life is falling apart.  I’ve since gathered up the pieces, but like a 1,000 piece puzzle, it’s been difficult putting those pieces in the right place.  I’ve heard at […]

I Saw an Angel

So today I had a D & C procedure, and I know Logan was with me. I saw him.  I brought the blanket a coworker had made for Logan with me, because I was so scared to do this today. My track record with anesthesia was less than stellar. I get pretty bad nausea and […]

The Storm Returns, A Rainbow Shatters

October 28th, 11 days after my last OB appointment. I had spotting again while getting myself ready for work. Knowing what I experienced a month earlier, I tried to relax, slow down a little bit. But in the back of my mind something felt off. Like an impending doom feeling. I still had morning sickness […]

The Eye of the Storm

They say the eye of a hurricane is the calmest part of the storm.  3 months after losing Logan I started to see a lot of rainbows. A rainbow baby is a baby born after a loss. I felt a small sense of peace whenever I’d see a rainbow, each one felt like a sign.  […]